2 0 0 9 - the hot revolver says...

I'm numb. Someone pinch me please, better yet slap me, kick me in the bozack, just wake me the F up! My 2008 horizon is creeping to an end, it is a harsh and agonizing reality that I may close the year with my portfolio worth close to a single andy jackson ($20) (IF these damn dec. puts expire worthless on dec. 19th, six trading days and counting), the same portfolio which was once a six figure valued account. (feb. 2009). Here's a peek at the graph since June (my bday month)

*Keeping EMOTIONS out of your pockets* - I am expecting real estate deals to close for me first month of the new year. Usually I would not hesitate to allocate these funds back into my stock account, entirely. But I now let bills take precedent over my once 'goose that laid the golden egg'. I'm planning to spend 1/4 of my commissions paying debt and 3/4s into my stock account. I'm having revelations. My multiple theories and strategies of investing are reflected in my actual stock positions, options trading and even in simulation contests like the one on CNBC. Why is it that my CNBC portfolio (up %40 since Nov.) is kicking the shit out of my real-money accounts? click to expand pic.
I'm being rational, reflecting experience and data in deciding where to invest my money on both counts, so why are my thoughts torn in these different directions? I am confused within a confusing market, a dangerous combo where even a professional's judgment can become throwing darts at a board...plain and simple. I've decided to go back to basics, and I mentioned this to Nik a few nights ago, back to basics will be reflected via my trading decisions starting 2009. WWW.BULLYBANK.COM our official website should be up and running january 1st, THAT...I'm fcking excited about.

You guys can see a more conservative view on investing (the extreme declines I've faced really blurred my vision and judgment this past 6 months. I speculated more with stocks and options outside of my comfort zone equating to nothing but bad results and lessons learned.)

One word : TUITION , and you know what? I've paid enough of it. See you guys next week - cheers, the hot revolver.